So tell me, why is it that all of a sudden it has become highly favorable to play the part of a complete ditz-brain? Okay, maybe it’s not all that sudden – but the point is, who decided that was the proper way to act and why on earth have we bought into it? I just don’t get it. This has been a real issue with me for many years and I still find that I am utterly amazed when a new “up & coming” all of a sudden turns bleach-blonde dumb. No offense, I’m certainly no stranger to highlights – and we become closer friends the older I get! But you know what I mean; at some point in time the lack of brain cells became associated with the brightness of our hair color and the size of our chest. Let me tell you what has once again stirred up these emotions. A certain awards show was on television the other night and this very attractive, young, talented singer who has found her way into the music business is on stage acting as if she got all dolled up for a big evening only to realize she left every trace of intelligence at home. The sad thing is this particular woman is intelligent – I have no doubts. She has written or co-written many of her songs, she had the world stacked against her from her circumstances and yet she persevered and has become successful. She holds an associates degree and from what I’ve been able to tell in various interviews she thinks of herself as intelligent and a smart business woman. So why would you present yourself any other way? It has taken years and years for women to break stigmas, earn rights, and become equals. They have poured out blood, sweat, and tears so that women coming after them even have the opportunity to be successful in all walks of life. And it just infuriates me to see a few personalities disregard the sacrifices that have been made. Beyond that, God wants more for us. He not only wants more, he expects more. He has not designed us to manipulate what we want others to think of us. In doing that, we’re not being honest. We can all be a little ditzy at times, say things we shouldn’t, speak before we’ve really thought it out and make ourselves look silly. But when it becomes an image we wear like part of our wardrobe, we’re not being truthful with ourselves nor are we telling others who we really are. Why would God create something so beautiful, so perfect in His image, and then expect us to be something we’re not. He wouldn’t – that contradicts everything He is. He created you – just as you are. Not to be someone you’re not. He calculated a very deliberate purpose when He handcrafted you. No one else can fulfill that purpose and without you just as you were created to be, we all lose out. I guess I am so passionate about this because it becomes increasingly difficult to raise my own daughters to be the women God created them to be when we live in a world where sex and success are synonymous. We try to instill character, integrity, modesty, patience, & humility and yet every corner we turn is another magazine cover, television station, or song lyric that is sparing no expense to captivate my girls into thinking their success is dependent upon pleasing the world. Sometimes it feels like I’m treading water while sharks circle just under the surface. At the expense of sounding too dramatic – it gives me a clear picture of Satan and his schemes. He hovers close by watching us struggle to keep our heads above water until he finds we’ve grown weak. He may get a few nibbles in and I may come out with some battle scars, may even lose a limb, but he won’t win the war – especially not when it comes to my children.
And I feel equally as passionate about you. If you are one of these young (or young at heart) women that have succumbed to the temptation to play Queen Dumb-chick because others think it’s cute – stop it. Truthfully, they only think it’s cute to your face. If you catch yourself dressing in a way that does not honor God – stop it. Put some clothes on, buy something that fits and cut the tag out if you don’t like the size. Tuck your parts and pieces back in where they belong and save those for the man God has designed for you as your husband. And as a footnote, it’s really not appealing to see your underwear either. It is UNDERwear! Don’t hang your head in shame about what you’ve done or the image you’ve portrayed; it is so easy to buy into the messages that are being sent our way. Start making different choices, stand up for what you know is right, and be amazed as you flourish walking in His light. He’ll bless it – I promise you.
Start demanding respect, you deserve it. There is a lot of truth to the saying you teach people how to treat you. If you want to be with someone who is going to honor and protect you, then that is what you have to project. Otherwise you will find yourself alone on a dead-end street with a broken heart. Be honest, stay true to who God created you to be. You’re worth it and to settle for anything less just means you won’t shine as brightly as you could. And, hello, all girls like to sparkle! Love you girls.

Posted at 12:04 PM Read or Post Comments

As Christians, I think we sometimes believe we are (or should be) exempt from the trials of life. And even if we know that not to be true, in our desire to draw others to Christ, I’m afraid we give off that impression at times. I believe one of the first things we should clear up with a non-believer is that we recognize life is hard. It is just so hard. The only thing that sets us apart is hope. As believers we have hope where otherwise there would be none. Regardless of the circumstances or even the outcome – we have hope. Romans 5:3-4 tells us the formula: troubles produce patience, which produces character, which results in hope. As we look around, we see that none of us are immune from troubles. We witness in our own lives death, disease, divorce, abortion, drugs, alcohol, accidents, bankruptcy, hurricanes, infertility, blindness, runny noses and the terrible-twos. Trials do not discriminate. So why become a believer if everything remains the same? Oh, but it doesn’t. I truly believe that as Christians, many times the outcome is different and it always works to further God’s kingdom. I also wonder how many battles are being fought on my behalf that I know nothing about simply because I belong to the Lord. And so, I have hope. I would like to share with you a story fully expecting it to offer hope to someone who is facing the same difficulty. This is the life story of a young woman who has battled drugs for many years and because of her addiction, her life is very different from what God had planned for her. As you read this, pray for her; she is about to journey in a new direction. This is the story of an inmate at the MS Department of Corrections. This is my sister-in-law . . .

My name is Geana. I am 30 years old and am currently living in prison. I am serving a 5 year sentence for burglary of dwelling. Let me take you back to the age of 13. I was raised in a middle-class neighborhood by Christian parents and have 2 older brothers. I was adopted by my mother and father but they are my parents. I was raised with my biological mother in and out of my life. I started smoking weed when I was 13 years old. I also started drinking with my friends and thought I was cool. By the age of 15 I had tried LSD, acid, and cocaine. I got kicked out of school my freshman year for possession of marijuana. I went to youth court and was banned from all schools in our district. I then moved out of state to live with my oldest brother but got in trouble at school for fighting. I moved back home and went to private school. I began drinking and smoking weed on a daily basis. I got in trouble again for drinking at school and at the age of 16 and 3 schools later, I dropped out. Things only got worse. I learned how to hustle to keep up my habit and make money. At 18 years old I moved out of my parents’ home and started using drugs heavily. I began to take pills, smoke weed, do cocaine, and any other drug that I came across. I also sold every drug I used to support my habit, pay my bills, and party with my friends. By this time in my life partying had become a lifestyle. I carried a gun with me everywhere I went because the life I once enjoyed became dangerous. There would be times I would be making a deal and there would be shootings. I’ve seen people almost beaten to death and once had to take a friend of mine to the hospital after having my windshield shattered from a guy trying to rob me. I’ve seen a guy in shock because his body was burned from head to toe after an explosion while manufacturing – he almost died.
I got pregnant when I was 20. Nine months later I gave my son up for adoption to a wonderful Christian family. My life only became more dangerous. At 22 I learned to manufacture methamphetamine. This drug game was the most dangerous. There were times I stayed up so long I became delusional and thought my own family was out to get me. It had come to a point where I had pushed my family out of my life and I was on a suicide mission – self destruction. I was 25 years old when I was arrested for burglary. I was on the run and finally turned myself in. I sat in jail for many months. My parents were afraid to bond me out for fear of what I would do next. Every time their phone rang they wondered if it would be the police or the coroner. My life had been nothing to brag about. After almost overdosing on a shot of meth, I was busted for manufacturing in 2004. I was already on probation for burglary, still getting high, and finding my way around monthly drug tests. That morning I had taken a shot of meth that was too much for me. I blacked out and felt as if I was going to die. Once I came around I didn’t care that I had almost died, I only cared that I was high. That afternoon I noticed a helicopter above me everywhere I went. I returned to a friend’s house where we were manufacturing and they either said I was paranoid, didn’t believe me, or didn’t care. So I took another shot of meth. Before we got out the door, we were swarmed by law enforcement and I was arrested for manufacturing. I was released to drug court and stayed clean for awhile. Soon I began to miss the fast life and began to manufacture and sell again. In my mind I thought I was okay because I wasn’t getting high. But I knew in my heart if I didn’t change I would end up in prison – and I did. Now I sit here from day to day and see the burn marks on my arms, I think about the days I spent sick because I needed a fix, I remember the days I wanted to die because I was sticking a needle in my arm – something I said I would never do. In the end, I lost my dignity, my self-respect, my son, years with my family, and my freedom. Coming to prison has been the best thing that could have happened to me but it has been the worst experience of my life. Drugs have taken a toll on my memory and my emotions. I have been a prisoner of my own mind for so long that I am having to learn how to live and feel again. Prison has been no picnic – you eat when they tell you to, if you can even eat the food, you go to bed when they tell you to. Your life is controlled by the guards. It has been a very emotional experience. I hope some day I can help others before it is too late for them.

Geana will be coming home soon and she has set some goals for herself. She plans on going to college. Part of her sentencing was the requirement she obtain her GED, which she has done. She hopes to use her experiences to help others and we are praying that door will open for her. She included her address which I chose not to publish. However, I would be glad to forward any correspondence to her. I pray that you will remember Geana and our family as she prepares for a new beginning.

Posted at 12:35 PM Read or Post Comments

I was reminded of one of my favorite moments in time by a recent prayer request. Most of you will find the story familiar and yet it’s worth retelling. The woman at the well (John 4:1-42). There’s a sweetness that one will miss if they skim over the words too quickly. This Samaritan woman likely heard the whispers and felt the shame. How many can relate? She had been married five times and now found herself with another man that was not her husband. I feel quite certain she was the talk of the town. Even without cell phones and email, women of that day were probably not much different from women of present day when it came to gossip. Given her reputation, you would have to wonder how many women wondered if she had gotten too close to their own family. The scriptures don’t say, but what they do tell us is so very significant. Typically, women drew water from the well during the early morning hours but we enter into her chore at midday. We don’t really know why she was there at an unusual time, but she was none the less. Another key point is that Jews avoided the area of Samaria at all costs and it was highly unlikely a Jewish man and a Samaritan woman would be spotted conversing. Yet here they are; a woman thirsty for redemption, for acceptance and in the presence of the only One who can quench it. Does she recognize it at first? Of course not. So imagine her surprise when he, a man – a Jewish man, asked her for water. Was she stunned? Possibly. Did she question his intentions? Most likely, look at vs. 9. Her heart had already been trampled on at least 6 times that we are made aware of. But I love her spirit, “how can you ask me for water when Jews and Samaritans have nothing to do with each other?” And what does Jesus do? Only what he can. He tells her of the living water and then questions her about her husband. When she admits she is not married – does he scold? Does he condemn? Not a chance. To sum it up, he says, “I know. And I know all that you have done” (vs. 17-18). And as if that isn’t enough, he blesses her honesty in the grandest fashion – he reveals himself to her (vs 26)! Now don’t miss some key elements.

• Look back at vs. 4. It states he had to go to Samaria. Could it have been for this one encounter? I’d like to think so, since we’ve already said Jews typically avoided Samaria. (Thanks Max Lucado for pointing this out in Six Hours One Friday)
• He didn’t reveal himself to royalty or only to those that society would have deemed as worthy. He walked in , incognito if you will, until the appointed time. Plopped himself down by the well in the heat of the day eagerly anticipating the arrival of a Samaritan woman with her head hung down in shame. He saw her heart and she received him and because she did, her life was changed. And that was just the beginning.
• Look what she left behind in vs 28. Her water jar! What was just moments before the task at hand no longer mattered. She drops her jar and takes off running with excitement.
• Then the beauty of God’s people began to spread like crazy (vs 39-42). Jesus, being full of grace, stayed 2 more days and the scripture says many more came to know him.

A broken woman with an empty vessel and a heavy heart. One encounter with the Messiah and countless lives were changed. His grace, his mercy, his love – they’re all contagious. And they’re all ours for the asking.

Posted at 8:18 AM Read or Post Comments

I had something unusual happen to me yesterday. It made me laugh and cry all at once, which to me is the coolest combination of emotions. Everyday during my lunch break at work I have 20 minutes or so to read. When the weather permits (which fortunately is most days), I grab my book, sunglasses and a bottle of water and head outside to a nearby bench where I kick off my shoes and get lost for a short while. I pray fervently that God will protect this time for me. In asking that, I’ve committed to only read material that will contribute to my growth in Him. People pass by and look at me like I’m weird, but I don’t care – I’m perfectly comfortable with my weirdness. Anyone who knows me very well, would expect to find me with the latest from Max Lucado but recently something else caught my eye (sorry Max – but I can’t wait for your next one!), Captivating, Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul by John & Stasi Eldredge. Let me summarize where I was yesterday. John had gone on a business trip to Oregon and was able to capture some alone time with God on the beach. Then suddenly a humpback whale appeared before him close to the shoreline. The annual migration had passed and he knew this was a gift to him from God. Shortly after he and Stasi were at a retreat in California and, like her husband, Stasi took time to be alone with God. She prayed for a whale – feeling silly because she was secure in how much God loved her and He didn’t need to prove it by sending her a whale. But as her walk along the shoreline continued, she came across an orange starfish and she knew that just as God had given John a whale, he had given her a starfish. She thanked him for it and as she rounded a bend, what lied before her took her breath away – thousands of brilliantly colored starfish. She was surround by them and felt God’s extravagant love. I thought that was a beautiful story, intimate to each of them and it brought to mind a part from one of my favorite movies, You’ve Got Mail, where Meg Ryan is riding the subway in NYC and is telling of how once she read about a butterfly that got on the subway and that day one actually did. Anyway, I have always found that part amusing because you have all these busy people riding a train and are totally oblivious that a butterfly, of all things, has found its way onto the subway headed to Bloomingdale’s. But it is personal to her and she finds amazement in it. Why it came to mind – I have absolutely no idea. But at that moment I looked around and prayed, “God, I’m at a shipyard. I don’t think there’s much chance you’ll send me a whale or even a starfish but do you think you could send me something? Like Stasi, I too know that you have already proven your love for me by sending Jesus Christ to die for me but I would really like to see you.” I just sat in the stillness for a few minutes and relished the breeze that I was so enjoying at that moment. A few minutes later I continued reading and had only turned the page one time when something caught the corner of my eye. A butterfly. Sitting right there beside my left foot. Well, you can only imagine – I couldn’t keep the tears from welling up in my eyes. I’m about to go from being weird to just plain “nutso”. Even as I type, it stirs up those same emotions. So while I’m smiling, crying and thanking God for the gift there’s still a part of me that’s wondering – “is this really you God?” But then I turn around and there behind me is another one! That’s it, I close the book, put my shoes back on, and go inside to grab a tissue. All the while my heart is smiling. It was Him. It was personal, it was intimate, it was just ours. Now I have to wonder how many times has He done this before and I’ve missed it? Ladies, don’t miss it. Look for it everywhere in everything. He’s there.

Posted at 11:31 AM Read or Post Comments

I had the privilege of traveling over the weekend with my 2 daughters to visit my mother. Our hotel was across the street from a mall and inside is a place to play black-light miniature golf. My girls had been once last year and loved it. It’s owned by a Christian man and he plays the newest contemporary Christian music and they were obviously excited to return. Seeing their grandmother was great, staying in the hotel was cool, shopping all day was fun (for one of them), but black-light miniature golf . . . now that was the bomb! So off we go. As we step out of the light and into the darkness, what was a perfectly appropriate shirt that my youngest daughter was wearing took on a whole different appearance in the black-light. It took us a few minutes to realize but once we did – she was horrified. They had been so looking forward to this and 3 or 4 holes into their play she was ready to quit. She was left feeling defeated and I was left wondering what to do. I’m in a mall; do I go buy another shirt and return? Do we just leave when the excitement for this had been building? Do we stay? Do I give her my own shirt? No wait, that wouldn’t work. You see my dilemma, and all these possible solutions are zipping through my head in a matter of seconds. But then it dawned on me. There was no one in the place except us. And to keep the brightness of each “putting green” separated from the next, there were black curtains that draped from ceiling to floor as dividers. So, with a few exceptions, we were not visible to anyone other than those that may come up behind us. So my solution, “Stay close to me and I’ll cover you.” She could relax, let me protect her, and finish her game – which she did. Well, the relaxing part is questionable. But my point is I had a different perspective than she did. I could see beyond the present circumstances to the prize at the end, if only she would allow me to take care of her. We finished the game, had a great time, and I believe she felt safe.
Afterwards I was thinking, isn’t that just like us with God? At times we step out of the light and into the darkness and then run from Him, knowing He is the only one that can rescue us. Unlike me, He doesn’t have to wonder what the best solution is – He’s already prepared. He just wants us to stay close to him and let him protect us. Psalm 32:7 says God is our hiding place and will protect us from trouble. Psalm 91:14 tells us that when we love and know him, he will keep us safe. Psalm 119:114 depicts God as our shield. Over and over throughout God’s word – His desire to protect us is evident. Look what did He did for Adam and Eve. Their eyes were opened, they were ashamed, and they attempted to cover themselves (Gen 3:7). That too is like us – fix it ourselves first, if that doesn’t work ask God. But then look what happens just 14 verses later; God made clothes for them and covered them. The God that created heaven and earth, the God that was, is, and will always be, the God that conquered the grave cared enough to cover his most prized creation Himself. All the time knowing that just moments before that very same creation had failed Him miserably. Sometimes it is still beyond my comprehension. Did He have to do it? I think so. Don’t misunderstand me, not for us – we certainly don’t deserve it - but because of who He is. God is love. And love protects (I Cor 13:7).

Posted at 12:58 PM Read or Post Comments

Embedded in the English language is a word that many women rarely say, most dread hearing, and few truly understand. It is a simple word with a powerful meaning and has the ability to bring out the best and worst of emotions. But delivered or received properly, it holds a beauty like none other. Your word for the day - “no”. Even as I write, it brings a smile to my face. Partly because there is freedom that accompanies it and partly because it cracks me up to see the reactions it brings out in people when that is the answer they did not expect. As women I believe it is our nature to please others; our husbands, our children, parents, siblings, boss, co-workers, pastor, girlfriends, the president, our cousin’s best friend’s next door neighbor’s daughter, and so forth. We have a lengthy list of people who count on us daily. Why do we do this? ‘It is our calling . . . we are the nurturers. . . it just won’t get done if I don’t do it.’ And then here is one we don’t like to admit – we want to be liked. You know it’s true. We do. I do and don’t even try to convince me I’m alone in this one. The truth is, what we say is accurate, it is our calling and we are nurturers. Many times things won’t get done unless we do them – at least not to our specifications. But in trying to save the world, don’t you become overwhelmed? I know I have and finally one day someone asked something of me at a time when my estrogen and hormones were not in sync, or I was tired and cranky, or just maybe Jesus elbowed me in the ribs and I said, “no.” It was nothing less than BEAUTIFUL. I could begin to breathe again and the choke hold was less intense. And gradually it became an active part of my vocabulary – almost too active. I had to slow down on that response before I received a swift kick rather than an elbow. My point is that as Christian women, we all serve in the ministry. We are called for specific purposes but not all purposes. God has an appointed time for everything as Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8. How we use our time reflects our values and I believe our relationship with Jesus Christ. There are certainly ways to say “no” with tact and grace which I believe pleases God as well (Colossians 4:5-6). We cannot be all God desires us to be in the areas He desires us to be for the time He specifies if we use our gifts without His direction. Joy and peace are our rewards for serving as He would have us to serve. Give when you can give, help when you can help, and don’t be afraid to say no when you can’t. But always seek His direction in your answer (Ephesians 5:15-17). And if you really want to have some fun – say "no" without following with much of an explanation. It leaves people bewildered and sometimes the reasoning really is just between you and God.

Posted at 12:47 PM Read or Post Comments

“Twist cap to vent.” Have you ever given those instructions much thought? It took on a different meaning for me this past weekend. I was doing laundry, when there it was on the container – twist cap to vent. Normally this would have had absolutely no significance to me other than preventing me from making a terrible mess. What you need to understand are the events that occurred pre-laundry. There had been a (ahem) not-so-spiritual conversation between my husband & I. Now let me clarify; it was a tiff. A tiff with “an edge.” Okay, a tiff with a double-edge. And when I read those simple instructions I thought, “I’d like to twist his cap!” Now you & I know that just wasn’t necessary and immediately I recognized this was probably not something the Proverbs 31 woman would say. Before I knew it I was finding humor in the whole ordeal. Oh not the tiff – I still wanted to twist his cap, but I found it hilarious that God is even found in the laundry! He really does crack me up sometimes. But I began thinking about how God wanted me to vent. Even in my tiffs, I desire for God to be proud of me. During the unfolding of events I had stopped mid-tiff and asked God for direction. But then after He spoke to me through the laundry, I went to His word. Ephesians 4:26 tells us to not sin when we are angry and to be sure and stop being angry before the end of the day. But then look at verse 27, “Do not give the devil a way to defeat you.” Wow. Satan has power over me when I allow him to. He looks for it, he finds it, and I am completely powerless to defeat him alone. James 1:19-20 tells us to “always be willing to listen and slow to speak. Do not become angry easily, because anger will not help you live the right kind of life God wants.” So just in these snapshots of scripture we see when our anger is not properly vented, Satan has a stronghold and it will not be possible for us to experience all God wants for us. The beauty of God is He knows us – He knows we will be provoked to anger and we will do some of our own provoking as well – yet even still He wraps His arms around us and gently leads us to the place we’re supposed to be. So the next time you are angry and tempted to twist cap to vent make sure that cap unlocks the wisdom of God through His word. Just stand in His presence as He invites you to try again. You’re only other option is to change laundry detergent – but the instructions remain the same.

Posted at 5:54 AM Read or Post Comments